A while back we wrote an article explaining why you should seriously consider using a Rite of Passage(ROP) in the training and instruction of your child. Actually we wrote two and they’re worth checking out. Here is one for your DAUGHTERS and one for your SONS. Some of you asked for more information about creating a Rite of Passage. That’s why this week we dedicated our “Family in 60 Seconds” video series to the subject. It’s also why today’s article is meant to give some specific tools to effectively create a ROP. In fact we went ahead and created this Quick Guide to an Effective Rite of Passage to help you in putting together your child’s ROP. The guide is free and you can get it HERE. Rites of Passages have been a huge part of our parenting plan. We would love to hear your stories and questions around this topic.
Our children grow up so quickly. Rites of Passage are a great tool
to help you transition them from one milestone to the next!
First it’s important to remember WHY we do Rite’s of Passage:
- It allows you, the parent, to establish those milestones in your child’s development (when they become a man/woman, what they need before leaving home etc.)
- It allows you to create a memorable ceremony to mark the event. These memories can act like memorials to help your child remember key truths as they grow up.
- It opens up important lines of communication between parent and child; often around topics that can be difficult to discuss.
- It often acts as a defining moment in your child’s relationship with their Heavenly father.
But to make those Rite’s of Passage effective and life changing here are three keys to keep in mind.
- Make it a priority to spend time before the Rite of Passage doing some teaching. It’s called discipleship. And if I had one thing to do over again with my children and ROP’s, it would be this one. We always tried to accompany each Right of Passage with some instruction. However, too often we let the busyness of life dictate how much focus went into the teaching time. There were occasions when all we could do was teach the bare minimum and get on with the ceremony. Certainly this was better than nothing. But in some ways a missed opportunity for some great discipling.
- Be very intentional with the people you choose to involve in your son/daughter’s ROP. Not only do you want to be purposeful in who you choose (men and women who share your vision for biblical discipling), but you also want to be direct and specific about what part they will play. Give them enough advanced warning to prepare. Suggest ideas of what they might share with your child. Encourage them to use illustrations from their line of work and their expertise. I’m a coach so I tend to use sport’s examples. If a person works with computers then suggest they consider life analogies from the computer world.
- Give them a physical reminder of their ROP. This can be a picture or a key chain or even a special stone. In the old testament, whenever God would do something incredible for Israel, He would tell them to stack a bunch of stones, to build an altar so they would remember what the Lord had done. More importantly to remind the next generation of what God had done. In a similar way this stone or picture serves to remind your child of the milestone they have crossed.