PWTG Episode 022: 9 Keys if You Want to be Effective When You Discipline Your Kids

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Have you ever wondered what it takes to be really effective at disciplining your children? Have you ever worried, that having a disciplined child meant you had become an authoritarian tyrant? Did you know that disciplining your children well can actually bring you closer to you kids?

Today we present the final five of our nine Foundational Principles for Effective Disciplining. Last week we shared the first four in Episode #21.

  1. Childish Irresponsibility and Willful Defiance 
  2. Use Natural consequences 
  3. Child Specific consequences
  4. No Sanctuaries 

If you would like to check out last weeks’ podcast here is that link: 

Do You Want To Be More Effective In Your Disciplining?

In addition to sharing the final five principles, we’ve also provided you with a FREE pdf download with all nine foundational principles Click Here to Download. Download it, print it, and use it as a handy reference guide for your parenting. We won’t keep you waiting… next in our list of 9 principles for effective disciplining we have:

1.) Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say!

In other words don’t lie to your kids. If you threaten something, following through. It earns you credibility and the opposite will cause you to lose credibility.

2.) Refuse to Fight – Don’t Argue

Decide now that you won’t fight. It takes two people to fight. Just walk away until they are willing to have a respectful conversation with you.

3.) Major on Grace & Blessings

Disciplining your children can actually improve your relationship with them… but it requires that you spend 10X as much effort and time on affirming and blessing your children.

4.) Be Creative

Rather than have a standard list of offenses and consequences, be willing to think creatively about other ways to get the same message across to your kids.

5.) Compounding Consequences

A bad attitude because of a consequence doesn’t get you out of the consequence it just causes it to compound and get worse. Our children learn quickly that it doesn’t pay to cop an attitude with mom or dad.

The real message with discipling your children is an overarching principle that says, “I love you enough to help you learn to do the right thing.” Especially when our children are young, under seven, in those years when we are training by ACT Click Here for Your Free Ages & Life Stages PDF, we want to be quick to discipline. We’ve found the more intensely we were on it early on, the quicker we were able to relax as our children got older. Disciplining our kids is an act of love!

We’ve also created an eBook, Effective Discipline, which is part of our eSeries “Parenting With Truth & Grace. In it, we have put all of our best stuff when it comes to disciplining. It will be available for purchase next week. So stay tuned! In the mean time we hope you enjoy this week’s episode of “Parenting with Truth & Grace”. And make sure you download your free PDF.Click Here to Download

Also, stay tuned next week as we take on the controversial topic of spanking. Should we spank? Is it OK to spank? Is it against the law to spank? Is spanking effective? We hope you’ll come back again next week.

Until then, remember parenting is hard work. Navigating the tension between truth and grace in today’s culture is difficult. We want to do what is right, but we also want it to happen in a loving and caring way. That is the AXIS of Truth & Grace. Let us help you help you experience the fullness of parenting and family!


3 thoughts on “PWTG Episode 022: 9 Keys if You Want to be Effective When You Discipline Your Kids

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your truth and wisdom with us. I find myself leaning to rescue my children and am seeing the consequences of those actions now. I am finding it hard to reverse but I know we serve a loving and merciful God who is always willing to guide us…..your posts are always helpful. Because of my past errors I also find myself being more aggressive in my approach and with my words in trying to correct and catch up past mistakes… your constant reminder to discipline in love and grace is something I use as a reminder.

    Thank you from me in South Africa

    • Tracey, thanks for your honest comments. Above all else, never lose hope and it’s never too late to begin doing the right thing. Rather than over compensate, we would encourage you to apologize to your kids for the misses and (I’m not sure your children’s ages, but I’m assuming teenage years maybe) let them know your heart to do better in the future. We’ve found when we change, the children change very quickly. So stay encouraged and expect the best from your children.

      • Thank you David for your reply. My children are 9 and 10. I am currently working on the foundation of obedience so that by teenage years we have a good foundation. I understand the change lies first with me and thats the hard part…..but with hope nothing is impossible.

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