In the hospital he was known as the “Dishwasher Kid”!
It was the phone call every parent dreads. We had left our daughter Jordan(17) in charge of getting the kitchen cleaned and supervising her four younger siblings. Not due to any horseplay, Keila(11) fell onto a ten inch knife sticking up the wrong way in our dishwasher. We got the call, for the first time in raising our eleven kids, we were headed to the emergency room.
Good Morning!! Grab your coffee and join me for a short break!
After about four hours of assessment, the pediatric surgeon came in and said ,”This is what we are going to do…” She explained how they were going to open up Keila’s abdomen for exploratory surgery. Keila was doing fine, but they wanted to make sure there was no internal bleeding or more importantly a puncture of the intestines. Without hesitation, David spoke up directly and confidently, “Isn’t there anything a little less invasive that could be done?”
I immediately think, this is the doctor you’re questioning. I was also a little concerned they’d question our motives for not wanting our child to be taken care of. After all, our son is laying there with a stab wound! At that moment, I looked at David and had to answer a very important question. Was I going to support my husband in this conversation?
Before I share the end of the story, I want to share five reasons why parenting out of a deep one flesh relationship is so important, especially in a crisis.
- The best decisions are made from a unique blend of both our wiring. Each of our perspectives are shared, heard and taken into consideration as we are faced with storms, crisis or simple decisions that must be made.
- Trust and respect for each other allows you to come up with options that weren’t even being considered. Brainstorming within a safe and trusted relationship means the sky is the limit to how we will approach and respond to all this life will throw at us…even a stabbing of our son by the dishwasher.
- Storms have the potential to build intimacy. During our parenting life, we used the hard times to work at staying connected. We tried to listen well to each other, making sure we love and respect each other. Especially when it would be so easy to do the opposite.
- Accountability to do the right thing. Who can’t be nice and honoring to your spouse when everything is peachy? The storms of life give us a chance to treat each other well but also to resolve differing opinions in a way that we can support each other especially if we make the wrong decision.
- Lastly and most importantly, we have incredible opportunity to bear the image of who God is. People are watching us… our kids, the hospital staff, and strangers. Many had front row seats to how we were responding to each other and to the staff as well as to Keila.
They were able to come up with a less invasive option. Keila didn’t have surgery. Today he’s totally recovered from a damaged spleen. As important, I have never been so grateful for my relationship with my husband. We are a good team…and I am so thankful we had an opportunity to honor each other in a very tense and serious situation.
Have you had one of those times when you and your spouse had to trust each other in making a hard decision? How did it go? What did you learn?