Everybody has an opinion about men. Men need to grow up. Men need to lead. Men need to just love their wives. According to the bible men are called to be servant leaders of their home (Eph 5:22, Col 3:18, 1 Cor 11:3). How we live that out has caused mini wars between men and women for thousands of years. Men, here are 5 things you must do.
Men ~ Our families are looking to us for leadership!
1) Do the right thing – The bible says this;
He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God – Micah 6:8
It takes a courageous man to act justly no matter what. Part of leading is doing the right thing even when it’s hard to do. It often seems simpler to lie, or cheat, or ignore the truth. Godly leadership does the harder thing… the right thing. It’s a matter of integrity.
2) Love mercy – We are to act justly, but we are to love mercy. The love chapter in 1 Corinthians 13 reminds us, “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” Do the right thing… but do it with love. Leading your family sometimes requires tough decisions. But the heart of the Godly man is love for his wife and love for his children.
3) Courageously Confront Evil – Leo Tolstoy is credited with the quote, “All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing”. Part of being a Godly leader is the willingness to confront evil. The message we model to our wife and kids when we do nothing about evil in our sphere of influence weakens their view of our commitment to truth. Men like William Wilberforce, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Martin Luther King, Jr. give us models of confronting evil at the risk of everything.
4) Die for your wife – We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church (Christ died for the church). Much is made of the call for women to submit to their husbands. It’s interesting more isn’t made of the call for men to die for their wives. A couple of years ago we heard the story of a newlywed couple. One night the roads were icy. This couple’s car slid over an embankment and down a hill. They got out to assess the damage when another car did the exact same thing. They were standing behind their car when the second car came barreling down the hill right at them. Alert, the young husband shoved his wife out of the way just as the second vehicle came crashing into their car. The young man was crushed between the two vehicles and died. Many men are prepared to give up their life to protect their wife or kids. But are we willing to die daily for our wives. In other words, to put to death our own agendas and serve our wife. Honestly, this is hard for me. I’m selfish and I want what I want. Jesus called us to be servant leaders. That’s what real men do when leading their families.
5) Lead – I know. Sound’s ridiculous. But the key to leading is to intentionally lead. Seek direction from the Lord. Then be bold and courageous as you cast vision for your family. If your marriage needs help you take the lead. If you need help in parenting then you take the lead. If finances are a problem you lead the way. If your family’s health isn’t where it should be then you set some goals for your home. And spiritually, you assume the role of pastor and lead your family.
Obviously for those who are married, this all happens in partnership with your wife. And remember, it isn’t about perfection it’s about being faithful. You won’t always do it right, you won’t always show mercy, you won’t courageously confront evil every time, you won’t serve your wife perfectly, and you’ll drop the ball when it comes to leading. But be faithful to keep at it. Men, what has been the hardest part of leading for you? And wives, I’d love to hear some stories of how your husbands have been servant leaders in your home.